I know this sounds harsh, but I think teenagers could benefit from a war to serve in or a famine to survive by eating diseased horse meat. Nowadays they're too busy with handjobs and blowjobs when they should be eking out a meager existence with the hazardous jobs that made the youth of the nineteenth century so mature, responsible, and sickly—like coal mining, precision factory work, and locating land mines. I can't imagine what depth of experience this generation is missing out on by never having had a best friend die from tuberculosis or a cancerous, mutated mother who has to live under a vapor barrier from inhaling too much silica dust. What happened to the good old days?
I had an idea (or a fantasy, rather) that when American citizens turn twelve they could be shipped to Antarctica where they would have to use their wits and physical wherewithal to survive until they were twenty-two, at which point they would be allowed to return. I know. It's an awful idea, isn't it? I would never want to do that to those poor penguins. And can you imagine how they'd trash the whole continent down there? The place would be littered with One Direction posters, bongs made out of ice, and makeshift cum rags. The upside of the fantasy is that few teenagers would survive this decade-long endurance test. (Actually none would—because Antarctica lacks the resources for a human being to survive in the wild for long periods of time.) But if one of them did somehow manage to survive, imagine what strength of character he or she would have! I'm sorry, but there's just no iPhone app for that kind of thing...
Repulsive creatures, aren’t they?ReplyDelete
Your observations, musings, and ruminations are brilliant; thanks for granting a peek into that noggin of yours.
I’m glad I stumbled upon your blog while Googling “Sweet ginger mullet”.
Hi, Timmy. Do I have a sweet ginger mullet on this blog? If so, I'm pretty awesome, right? Actually your search is relatively normal compared to some of the freakish searches that lead people to this blog: Let me tell you... There are a LOT of German and British sickos out there looking for (current day) Doris Day photos! It never lets up. Every week Doris Day searches are the leaders on my referring search list—and just now I checked the list, and THIS was on it: ck vkihlbbw. What does that even mean? What's wrong with people? (That's rhetorical.)Delete
Anyway, nice to meet you. Glad you're here.
I see some of these teenagers from time to time and I'm down with the Antarctica thing.ReplyDelete
I've been thinking... Maybe the moon.Delete
i've been planning to move to both those places, fellas. don't wreck them for me. :)ReplyDelete
With some exceptions, I generally support your characterization of teens. Most teen guys I knew, including (especially) when I was a teen- were douchebags. What annoys me the most is how large the teen years loom in our popular entertainment. If I had to pick one age to glamorize, it wouldn't be the one most rife with rejection, insecurities, trepidation about the future and shame about the past.ReplyDelete