02 August 2012

dear doris day.



Dear Doris Day,


I've been thinking a lot about you lately. Not intentionally, of course. (I'm not that sick.) It's just that I never knew you had such a rabid, insatiable fanbase. Whenever I look at the behind-the-scenes statistics for this blog (which is practically every five minutes), I'm consistently amazed that hundreds and hundreds of Google searches from all over the world for 'Doris Day' and 'Doris Day today' and 'Doris Day fucking a dead mule' have brought people here. Certainly these mentally disturbed fans are looking for more than I have to offer--which until now had consisted only of the reminder that you are in fact still alive, along with the following photograph, which isn't necessarily flattering:




I can see the referring links for these searches, and many of them originate from the United Kingdom, Germany, and the Netherlands, which seems to suggest a particularity of cultural taste that I'll leave for sociologists to decipher. But let's speak frankly here. I don't need a major statistical analysis to know that a good half of these freaks are likely putting your face on full-screen view and shooting a wad of hot semen between your eyes. Now I don't know how you feel about being the imaginary fuck doll for some schlubby German man who thinks about raping your mouth hole in With Six You Get Eggroll while he's boning his wife. I don't pretend to understand what makes you tick. You are an enigma... a phantom... an elusive butterfly luring me and my net into the wilds of infinity. I shouldn't prematurely rule out the fact that maybe you enjoy an interracial bukkake now again, but like Indian food, in moderation. (And at the age of 88, can you really tell the difference between a money shot and a vigorous application of Vicks VapoRub anyway?)


I don't mean to blame you or anything, but I don't like the idea of all these sick kraut bastards launching ribbons of hot spunk at my blog--unless of course it's the writing they're responding to--in which case, fire away. But what do I really expect when there are only a couple dozen people on the internet at any given moment who aren't masturbating?


As far as why you--Doris Day--are the source of this underground hysteria, I have no reasonable guess. Why not Eva Marie Saint or Charlotte Rae, who were both also featured in that 'Dead or Alive' blog post? I'm not trying to say you're a hideous monster, you understand, but I remember when I first noticed that you existed while watching Hitchcock's The Man Who Knew Too Much I kind of wanted to rip out all of your hair and fill your mouth with bark beetles while you were singing 'Que Sera, Sera.' I've spoken with others about this reaction, and I've discovered that it's not enitrely rare.


But taste is a curious, irreducible quantity. So in the spirit of tolerance, I've decided that since so many people are using your nasal-labial folds as target practice for their projectile cum wads anyway, I might just as well give the people want they want: More of your face to spooge on. Variety is indeed the spice of life--and the spice of masturbation as well. So enjoy, meine Freunde, and keep the screen wipes ready-to-hand...









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  20. We are major/Direct providers of Fresh Cut BG, SBLC, POF, MTN, Bonds and CDs and this financial instruments are specifically for lease and sale.We are one of the leading Financial instrument providers with offices all over Europe. 
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    2. Total Face Value: 10M MIN to 50B MAX USD or Euro 
    3. Issuing Bank: HSBC, Deutsche Bank Frankfurt, UBS or any Top 25 . 
    4. Age: One Year, One Day 
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  29. Pour remédier aux préjudices financiers subis sur internet, l'Organisme International de Répression Contre la Cybercriminalité (OIRCC) et la Brigade d'enquêtes sur les fraudes aux technologies de l’information (BEFTI) créés par les pouvoirs publics et en collaboration par Interpol mondial sont à la disposition de toute personne victime de toutes formes d'escroquerie sur internet. Contactez-nous directement à l'adresse suivante:

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  31. We are a Finance Industry Company professionals with over 15 Years Experience and a focus on providing Bank Guarantee {BG}, Standby Letter of Credit {SBLC}, Medium Term Notes {MTN}, Confirmable Bank Draft {CBD} as well as other financial instruments issued from AAA Rated bank such as HSBC Bank Hong Kong, HSBC Bank London, Deutsche Bank AG Frankfurt, Barclays Bank , Standard Chartered Bank , Credit Suisse e.t.c. at the lowest available rates depending on the face value of the instrument needed.

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  33. We currently have funds for Financing Real Estate, Project Funding, Bridge Loans, Construction Financing, and Ordinary Loans for Company Export/Import financing projects of large volume.

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  35. How I got an xmas loan

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  36. How I got an xmas loan

    My name is Michelle Holt residing in Louisville Kentucky, I want to say a very big thank you to Mr Richard Jame Dyson of Jennard Investments Limited for granting me a xmas loan of $42,000 at 3% interest rate through their xmas loan program that is current running. You too can get your xmas and business loan from them as well. Contact them on email: jennardinvestmentslimited@outlook.com & cell phone number +1(484) 292–4513...

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    ReplyDelete
  40. Viviane Carpentier /15 janvier 2021/ Belgique
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  46. Et je n'es jamais cru qu'un jour j'aurai ce prêt , j’étais désespéré car j'ai été déjà arnaqué plusieurs fois ,mais j'ai rencontré un ami qui m'a conseillé une prêteuse du nom de Mme ROSE PICIRILLO chez qui j'ai reçu mon prêt de 20.000€ pour mon projet . C'est une très grande joie pour moi de témoigné de se bienfait que ma faire cette dame .
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  47. Et je n'es jamais cru qu'un jour j'aurai ce prêt , j’étais désespéré car j'ai été déjà arnaqué plusieurs fois ,mais j'ai rencontré un ami qui m'a conseillé une prêteuse du nom de Mme ROSE PICIRILLO chez qui j'ai reçu mon prêt de 20.000€ pour mon projet . C'est une très grande joie pour moi de témoigné de se bienfait que ma faire cette dame .
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  48. Il y a des gens qui ose se servir des noms de personnes qui ne prêtent pas et qui n'existe même pas, moi je conseille pour tout vos besoin de prêt de contacter. Mme KATIA LILIANNE avec lui soyez rassuré vous aurai votre prêt sans payer aucun frais à l'avance .
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  49. Il y a des gens qui ose se servir des noms de personnes qui ne prêtent pas et qui n'existe même pas, moi je conseille pour tout vos besoin de prêt de contacter. Mme KATIA LILIANNE avec lui soyez rassuré vous aurai votre prêt sans payer aucun frais à l'avance .
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    ReplyDelete
  50. Il y a des gens qui ose se servir des noms de personnes qui ne prêtent pas et qui n'existe même pas, moi je conseille pour tout vos besoin de prêt de contacter. Mme KATIA LILIANNE avec lui soyez rassuré vous aurai votre prêt sans payer aucun frais à l'avance .
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    ReplyDelete
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  55. Nom : Alphie LUKAKU
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  56. Nom : Alphie LUKAKU
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  57. Nom : Alphie LUKAKU
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    ReplyDelete
  58. We are able to finance your signatory projects and help you enhance your business plan. Furthermore, our financial instrument can be used for the purchase of goods from any manufacturer irrespective of their location. It can also serve as collateral with any bank in the world to secure loans for your project or to activate credit line to finance your business plan. We have {BG}, Standby Letter of Credit {SBLC}, Medium Term Notes {MTN}, Confirmable Bank Draft {CBD} as well as other financial instruments issued from AAA Rated bank such as HSBC Bank Hong Kong, HSBC Bank London, Deutsche Bank AG Frankfurt, Barclays Bank , Standard Chartered Bank and others on lease at the lowest available rates depending on the face value of the instrument needed. Email : nat.mandate18@gmail.com Skype : nat.mandate18@gmail.com Regards Nat

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    ReplyDelete
  60. Salut à tous
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    ReplyDelete
  61. GENUINE BANK GUARANTEE (BG) AND STANDBY LETTER OF CREDIT (SBLC) FOR BUY OR LEASE AT THE BEST AVAILABLE RATES
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    ReplyDelete
  62. Lorsque les banques ou les proches ne peuvent vous suivre, il est bon de savoir qu'il existe une entraide quelque part. Pour toute demande de prêt entre particulier envoyez un mail directement a Mme Gille ROSE PICIRILLO qui ma satisfaire en 72 heures . Grâce à elle , aujourd'hui j'arrive à joindre les deux bouts et je lui serai reconnaissante toute ma vie.
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    ReplyDelete
  63. Lorsque les banques ou les proches ne peuvent vous suivre, il est bon de savoir qu'il existe une entraide quelque part. Pour toute demande de prêt entre particulier envoyez un mail directement a Mme Gille ROSE PICIRILLO qui ma satisfaire en 72 heures . Grâce à elle , aujourd'hui j'arrive à joindre les deux bouts et je lui serai reconnaissante toute ma vie.
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    Que Dieu vous donnent la foi de croire sur parole avant que les actes ne vous viennent comme vous croyez .

    ReplyDelete
  64. « Un très grand merci à vous Mme KATIA LILIANNE
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    ReplyDelete
  65. « Un très grand merci à vous Mme KATIA LILIANNE
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    Une seule adresse : dupuislilianne@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
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  68. Salut à tous .
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  69. Salut à tous .
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  70. Salut à tous .
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  73. GENUINE BANK GUARANTEE (BG) AND STANDBY LETTER OF CREDIT (SBLC) FOR BUY OR LEASE AT THE BEST AVAILABLE RATES
    Dear Sir/Ma,
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    FOR LEASING OF BG/SBLC
    MINIMUM FACE VALUE OF BG/SBLC = EUR/USD 1M
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  76. We are Providers of all types of BG and SBLC with the best workable procedures. Our BG/SBLC ranges from MT799, MT760,(Both two way confirmation), MT103/23, MT103 (Both can be one way confirmation and two way confirmation) in USD and EUROS. Issuing Bank ranges from Top world 25 banks with face value ranging from 1M EUROS/USD to 10B EUROS/USD

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