02 August 2012

where would you go...

...to find 'death of Shirley Hemphill pictures' before the internet was invented? You'd probably be too embarrassed to even ask. But now everything you can possibly imagine is here—except for a single perfectly spelled, grammatically correct, intellectually compelling youtube comment.

These are other Google searches (besides 'Doris Day felching a decomposing yak,' of course) that have led innocent web wanderers to this darling blog. Icebergs have tips and a Mary Frann searcher is certainly one of them.

Incidentally, when I conducted my own search for 'death of Shirley Hemphill pictures,' this is what turned up—

Shirley Hemphill herself, but not dead.

Poltergeist star Dominique Dunne,
who was murdered by her boyfriend.

Absurd and outdated nationalist imagery.

People who are happy that Shirley Hemphill's dead.
Celebrating, even.

As you can plainly see, the 'death of Shirley Hemphill pictures' market is extremely underserved. Savvy entrepreneurs should really get in early on this one. 


  1. The starting center for the Los Angeles Lakers (that's a pro basketball team), Andrew Bynum, looks just like poor Shirley. I always think of the 'What's Happening' theme song when I first see him.

    1. Basketball? Hmmmm... Is that the sport where a bunch fat ignorant slobs sit in an arena pouring beer down their pie holes and loudly exhorting uniformed surrogates for their miserable and unsuccessful egos to place an orange spherical object through a hoop so that they can temporarily avert the fateful realization that they have nothing at all to live for and might as well put a gun to their heads when they get home if only they had the powers of honest, critical introspection?

      Or is that a different sport?

    2. No. You must be thinking football or something. Basketball is the one with Greek gods that is AWESOME.

    3. That's a fair interpretation of all professional sports David. I would add that these sports also give fans a distorted sense of regional pride, in which they identify with "local" teams, which are peopled by players from (it seems) everywhere BUT the local town. Occassionally the teams themselves will just up and leave for another town, but when the team supposedly representing Townsville beats the team supposedly representing Metropolis, fans in Townsville take it as an affirmation that they personally are better than all the fans in Metropolis. Bizarre.