I'm tired as hell today. If you're anything like me—first of all... god help you—but more importantly, you probably enjoy a gentle bedtime story as you nestle under the covers and rub your bare feet together. Being lulled almost imperceptibly toward that Citadel of Dreams by honeyed words is certainly a damn sight better than blacking out from drinking Fleischmann's gin and waking up at the business end of a highway rest stop gloryhole, at any rate. (Never again! How many times have I said that?)
Anyway, since I'm kind and sweet and considerate and stuff, I've recorded a bedtime story for all of you three readers of this blog. I almost did The Great Butter Battle by Dr. Seuss, but I opted for this one instead. Enjoy!